cannibalism
I think you mean cananabananailism
what the hell is wrong with you people
You must be new here
i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around
Regular old phones : (drops on concrete at 50 miles per hour ) *slightly cracks*
Android : (drops on concrete floor) *slightly cracks)
iPhones: (drops on carpet floor) *shatters , self destructs , explodes , falls into another dimension , becomes pregnant , turns into a cow
me: time for bed
stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
me: ok
Do you remember the kid of “Stuart Little”?
HOLD MY THIGHS NIGGA
What the fuck
WAIT ONE FUCKING SECOND
WTF???
thisguyknowswhatimtalkingabout:
Lemony Snicket has a great way with words. The ridiculousness of this paragraph is offset by the sincerity of it.
